New Hobby.....Photography!

I have always been attracted to photography and have had deep desires to pick it up as a hobby. Recently I bought a Canon Rebel XSi 12 Megapixel SLR Camera. I love it! There is so much to learn still but I have learned that a beginning photographer should just go out and shoot shoot and shoot some more. I spent the day with my brother, niece and nephew yesterday and though it was the perfect opportunity to try out my new camera. Here are some of the pics.....

This is my nephew Brian. He is the epitome of a boy. He is always outside playing and doing something active. I caught him taking a break from practicing an "ollie" on his skateboard.

This is my beautiful niece Kiari. She is so sweet and innocent. When I look at her I see a lot of our mom in her eyes and face. She seemed curious about the camera when I took it out and started shooting.

I like this shot. My brother Steven actually took this picture and he was creative to get down on the ground and get a differ perspective.

Protected Soul

A boy lost in a darkening world,
Shrouded by his own life history,
Travels to nowhere inside his broken compass.
Wide, baby-like eyes search,
Trying to penetrate the darkness,
Hungary to find a soul who will believe.
An injured heart is strong-willed,
And never left unprotected,
Words sharpened to cut down those who try.
A man shows up on his path,
A kind soul who believes,
But, for the boy, it is now too dark to even see.

End of a Rainbow

I'm alone laying face down on the bathroom floor,
There is this hole; I can't feel my heart anymore.
I don't see you there when I go to close my eyes,
Hope turns to black like the night sky.

You told me forever, that we would always be one,
You whispered and fell asleep in my arms.
Like the end of a rainbow, you felt real and so close,
Why you left me, heaven only knows.

I walk down the street and look to notice everything,
Trying to ignore you not there next to me.
I'm sorry was a stupid thing for you to say,
It's not like you planned it to be this way.

I'm alone laying face down on the bathroom floor,
There is this hole; I can't feel my heart anymore.

It takes time to wait

Does waiting feel like forever?
The world spins and I'm left behind,
I am my own kind.

Do you see me?
I smile when you're happy,
Tell me you are happy.

I want to feel,
White energy through my soul.
Want to feel in control.

I have to forget,
Just to make it through the day.
Tell me I am okay.

I want the lighting,
To take a chance on me and strike.
To bring me back to life.

Just Breathe

...Breathe.
I find silence,
All I hear is my heartbeat.
I am still,
My eyes are fixed,
I tune out every distraction.

...Breathe.
I feel my body,
My thoughts are unfocused,
I am hurt,
There is something,
It pushes hard against me.

...Breathe.
I try hard,
My mind spins in darkness.
I can't do it.
I come to believe,
I am not enough.

So now...
All I think to do is,
...Breathe

Sixteen Again

At 16 years old I was developing an increasingly need for music in my life. I found that it was a nesassary form of escapism, allowing me to drown out the noise of my life's challenges. My mind worked best when the space around me was tranquil and seriene. I found that music invoked feelings in me which I had scarcly felt in my life before. They were feelings that I connected with and, it felt good to connect to them. An album that defined those times for me was an unlikely album that was given to me for my birthday from a relative; It was called Pieces of You from Jewel. To me, the album drew me in and connected with me on many different levels. It was poetic and nieve. It offered heartbreak and hope. I loved and listened and listened and listened some more.

I have since followed this artist throughout her career, staying true to the artist who's album helped change my life and helped me to feel. Recently, I was able to go to a Fan appreciation concert at a small venue in Hollywood. I won the tickets on-line along with 300 others. I felt a little strange, embarrassed maybe, because I, a full grown male adult was excited to go to a concert from a female folk singer. I didn't care too much though, people do not know what impact that album had on me or how much it molded my thinking to how I see the world.

As silly as it may sound, I did go and it was in simple words, truly amazing. It was an intimate setting and all were attentive. Her voice has noticably matured throughout the years and rang crystal clear that night. Such emotion in the way the songs were sung too! I was glad to be transported back to when I was a teenager, feeling so many things, when I was trying to figure out who I was in the world. At the end of the night I felt content. I was moved by a concert and by a voice who's beauty was only matched by the lyrics which it sang. And as I walked to the car, I felt pride for myself and for who I turned out to be.

Beach Therapy

My favorite thing about California has got to be the ocean. Growing up, our family would go camping every summer at Carpenteria State Beach. We’d drive the ol’ motor home down to the beach, park it into the camping spot and set up camp for the week. Those were good times. Some of my favorite childhood memories come those times. There were what seemed unlimitless fun things to do there as a child: putting pennies on the railroad tracks for the train to squash, waking up early in the morning to wade about in the tide pools to inspect all the little creatures, me and my brothers and cousins riding our bikes into town to go blow all of our money at the candy shop…so fun! I visited Carpenteria last weekend to get away and reflect. I stayed at my dad’s condo and enjoyed every second. It was very nostalgic. I would walk around and different childhood memories kept flashing in my mind.
What a beautiful beach too. I really did spend most of my time admiring the how good looking and beautiful it is there. It’s the wind, the sound of the waves, the sweet smell in the air, the sand granules that get everywhere, the deep blues and all the little things that make it such an experience. One evening, I grabbed my guitar and went out to the ocean. I sat on this old abandoned lifeguard station, strumming my guitar as Iwatched the sun perform its colorful finale (and I took a picture of it, look above.) Amazing! If you have not seen a California Pacific Ocean sunset, I suggest you do in your lifetime.
This weekend was my downtime weekend, time to get away and relax and repair. I truly believe there is no better therapy than beach therapy!